learning to love

Becoming a dad for the first and second time in seventeen months has been a huge change in my life. It has been a change that has brought overwhelming joy and satisfaction. I love every second of it.

I have a little confession to make. When both of my girls came into the world I didn’t really feel like their dad. I knew that I loved them because they were mine, but there wasn’t that spark or that feeling of love. It was more like a realization that I am responsible for these girls, but there wasn’t the melt-your-heart type love that I feel for them now when they look at me.

So how do you get there? How do you get to the point where your kids melt you heart? I realized the other night, as I was up with Lucy, that you have to serve them without expecting anything in return. When Emma was a newborn I spent many nights getting up and rocking her and there was what seems like thousands of diapers that have been changed. Same with Lucy, the more I serve her, the deeper in love I find myself with my daughter.

When I first started working at Neighborhood Christian Fellowship, I spilled some trash that ended up staining the concrete in front of the sanctuary. I grabbed my parent’s power washer and began washing. The problem came when I cleaned the one spot and everything else looked so dirty. Five hours later and in the dark, the entire church was power washed. After that, I found myself picking up trash, pulling random weeds and generally caring for the property more than I had before. I loved the property because I served it.

I have found this over and over again in relationships. With my wife and my daughters and other friends. The more you serve someone, the more you invest in them. The more you invest, the more you love. I think the key is to invest in people not wanting or expecting anything in return.

So do you want to love your spouse more? Serve them.

Do you want to have a deeper relationship with your kids? Serve them.

Do you wish you had more deep and meaningful relationships? Serve your friends.

There is something deep and profound in humanity that can only be revealed through the loving act of service.


Post to Twitter