awkward

Do you ever have moments in your life that are awkward?  This morning I just forced myself to sit in silence and drink coffee.  Every now and then I need some time to sit in quietness and think about life.  For some reason I kept thinking about moments in my live that have been awkward, and lucky you, I am about to disclose some of those moments, but purposefully.

The morning after my wedding my new wife and I got picked up from our hotel and taken to LAX for our honeymoon to Maui.  We were way excited to relax for a week.  It was an uncommon morning at LAX because as we said our goodbyes to my sister & brother-in law we walked into an empty ticket counter area.  We were shocked there was only one family in the distance.  As we approached the ticket counter, I noticed that it was my ex-girlfriend of two years and her family that were also on their way to Maui.

There was an awkward time where she came to say hi, and I introduced my wife and the response was, “oh,” then she walked away.  It wasn’t just that though, we went through security together and then her family walked to their gate, which was painfully close to ours.  We had to walk down a walkway that seemed like it was a mile long.  We never saw them on the island but it was an awkward way to start out a honeymoon.

Being in ministry I’ve had to ask for raises, ask donors for money for church events and send awkward emails.  You know it’s going to be awkward but you have to do it or else it won’t get done.  Sometimes you have to confront others about a behavior that is destructive and, to be honest it is a difficult thing to do.  Even as a manager of others, I’ve had to reprimand others or bring to light a mistake they have made, this isn’t fun but it’s healing.

The reason why some moments are so awkward is because it is the time when you are most honest. Have you ever been talking about someone in the exact moment that they turn the corner?  Probably the problem is that our society tends to want to minimize these awkward moments by avoiding them but really we need a greater level of honesty and disclosure in our relationships.

My wife and I needed to run into the ex-girlfriend and maybe it was good for her too.  I have had to write those awkward e-mails.  I have had to confront some people about things, because it is healthy.  What makes something awkward is that it is exposed from the darkness of which it lives.

So think about whom you might need to have an awkward discussion with today.  How do you take your own self-rightness and inner-Pharisee out of it?  What needs to be brought into the light of honest conversation that if it remained hidden will only grow in scale and stature?  May you honor someone in the awkwardness today.

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