on the radio…radio

Today I was on an online radio broadcast that focused on parenting teens.  They sent me their questions in advance so I thought I’d embed the broadcast on my blog so you can listen to it at your pleasure.

Here are my notes from the broadcast today:

What are the top 2 mistakes you think most parents make and how can we fix them?

-They are afraid of their children and subsequently don’t take leadership over their family.

-They want to be friends with their kids…Stick to your guns, establish rules and keep them

If our teen is a Christian and is growing in their faith and relationship with Jesus, what can we do to help encourage them?

Model for them how to live

Ask them to teach you what they’ve been learning…

Look for the Gifts that God has uniquely given them and encourage them to peruse using their gifts

In a time of their lives when they know “everything” and parents know nothing~ how can we lead a teen who isn’t interested in Jesus or Church to the Lord?

You don’t.  Hopefully you built a strong enough foundation with your kid that they will trust you.  You don’t give up on them and your pray for them

What motivates teens?

Doing big things: Someone seeing their potential and putting it to use…Feeling important

What are your top tips for teaching teens responsibility?
Sound system example…They have to really own their life and they can’t take it lightly

When our teen REALLY screws up, beyond responding and not just reacting, what are your best recommendations for us to help them learn a lesson from this situation?
Help them feel the weight of what they did….DON’T fix it for them,,, allow them to suffer the consequences.

If its clear that they learned their lesson, don’t bring it up again.

What are your recommendations for guiding teens not to have sex? What should we do if we find our teen is engaged in this behavior?
We do want to teach our kids that sex is a great thing in the confines of marriage…

I think the best way to help keep your kids pure is to lay out your expectation and be bold to talk about it.  Help them to understand the gift of their virginity to their future spouse…

If you do find your teen engaged in this behavior, Take them to get an AIDS test, take them to get an STD test.  Have their doctor tell them the consequences…An OBGYN will show girls pictures of STD’s and a doctor will probably do the same with guys.  Chances are your teen won’t fully get the metaphor of marriage as God and the church but they will understand that God calls us to be pure

What are your recommendations for guiding teens not to drink alcohol or take drugs? What should we do if we find our teen is engaged in this behavior?

You should freak out a little but don’t freak out:  Obviously it depends how bad the usage is.

I think Teenagers are looking somewhere for a great story.  They want to be a part of something bigger than themselves…when parents don’t write that story, other friends will…So as a parent you have to be on the forefront, you have to be the chief story teller

For teens of divorced parents, in your opinion, what can the parents/step-parents do to make the most of the situation?

If they really care about the child then they need to put their differences aside and set times to do joint activities.

Think about Christmas and the constant shoveling around that a child with 4 or six sets of grand parents have to do…it is crazy there is no consistency…

A lot of parents need to swallow their pride and sacrifice for the best life for their kid…

Divorce can be cyclical in many families and I don’t think any parent wants that for their child so they need to give them the best chance to break that cycle

How can we get our teen to clean their room?
Tell them what you want, what are the consequences if they do…be consistent…The closer the family is the easier it will be to enforce the rule

What do teens want most from their parents?

Love. Your teen needs to come back to you and that is built on a foundation of love.

A good story…something they can be proud of and take on themselves…

Links:

Elevate Radio

Adam Kimber

Neighborhood Christian Fellowship

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