On September 15th at 12:45am my friend and mentor Pastor Gordon Coulter went to be with the Lord. He said that God had been so good to him to give him 15 more years of life after his initial battle with cancer. I am glad that I fit in to one of those 15 years. Many of you did too.
Since the passing of Pastor Gordon our Local Board of Administration at the church has turned into a search committee. Their function has been to discern God’s will for our church and to interview, check references and most of all pray. On Monday the 7th the LBA offered me the position. I am continually blown away by what God is doing.
On the 20th of November our church will hold a vote. If the church confirms the recommendation of the LBA then I have agreed to start full-time on January 1, 2012. Thank you all for your continued support and prayer during this time. It has meant a lot to my family and I.
Neighborhood Christian Fellowship is so much more than just me. Over the years here I have seen people get called to ministry. I have seen people make first time decisions to submit their lives to Jesus and I have been fortunate enough to marry, baptize and even bury some wonderful friends. Neighborhood is a place that makes the gospel come alive in the way its members live their lives. It is a little community that continues to be a beacon of light to a larger world.
I am so excited to begin this journey and I hope you will walk this road with me. Thank you for your prayers and please, don’t stop.
When Emma was six months old she had this toy that we call, “Dr. Star.” It was a music box that projected an image of a star on the ceiling. You can’t just go to Target and ask for “Dr. Star” because it is a name we just made up. I have an odd habit of giving her toys back-stories. But that toy put her right to sleep; she stared at it and went out.
Lucy is now six months and a little more difficult to please. She doesn’t buy into the Dr. Star fanfare. Lucy sleeps fine for all of her naps, but to go to sleep at nighttime she wants to be held. She wants to feel the love. I know it’s okay to lay her down for the night when she stops rubbing my arm and face. When I hold Lucy before she goes down I get the sense that all she wants in the world is to feel her father or mother. She simply wants to know that she is loved. Sometimes when she is crying all I have to do is rub her back and she is better.
This all got me to think that there are times in our lives when life is difficult or we feel pain. During those times we just want to reach out and be comforted. Just like the women who had been bleeding for twelve years who took a risk and reached for Jesus. Just like Peter as he began to fall through the water and reached out for Jesus. We all have that innate grasp that reaches toward the heavens in times of trouble. But I guess the question is who or what are you reaching out to? When times get tough, what is your first instinct to reach toward?
Today I was on an online radio broadcast that focused on parenting teens. They sent me their questions in advance so I thought I’d embed the broadcast on my blog so you can listen to it at your pleasure.
Here are my notes from the broadcast today:
What are the top 2 mistakes you think most parents make and how can we fix them?
-They are afraid of their children and subsequently don’t take leadership over their family.
-They want to be friends with their kids…Stick to your guns, establish rules and keep them
If our teen is a Christian and is growing in their faith and relationship with Jesus, what can we do to help encourage them?
Model for them how to live
Ask them to teach you what they’ve been learning…
Look for the Gifts that God has uniquely given them and encourage them to peruse using their gifts
In a time of their lives when they know “everything” and parents know nothing~ how can we lead a teen who isn’t interested in Jesus or Church to the Lord?
You don’t. Hopefully you built a strong enough foundation with your kid that they will trust you. You don’t give up on them and your pray for them
What motivates teens?
Doing big things: Someone seeing their potential and putting it to use…Feeling important
What are your top tips for teaching teens responsibility?
Sound system example…They have to really own their life and they can’t take it lightly
When our teen REALLY screws up, beyond responding and not just reacting, what are your best recommendations for us to help them learn a lesson from this situation?
Help them feel the weight of what they did….DON’T fix it for them,,, allow them to suffer the consequences.
If its clear that they learned their lesson, don’t bring it up again.
What are your recommendations for guiding teens not to have sex? What should we do if we find our teen is engaged in this behavior?
We do want to teach our kids that sex is a great thing in the confines of marriage…
I think the best way to help keep your kids pure is to lay out your expectation and be bold to talk about it. Help them to understand the gift of their virginity to their future spouse…
If you do find your teen engaged in this behavior, Take them to get an AIDS test, take them to get an STD test. Have their doctor tell them the consequences…An OBGYN will show girls pictures of STD’s and a doctor will probably do the same with guys. Chances are your teen won’t fully get the metaphor of marriage as God and the church but they will understand that God calls us to be pure
What are your recommendations for guiding teens not to drink alcohol or take drugs? What should we do if we find our teen is engaged in this behavior?
You should freak out a little but don’t freak out: Obviously it depends how bad the usage is.
I think Teenagers are looking somewhere for a great story. They want to be a part of something bigger than themselves…when parents don’t write that story, other friends will…So as a parent you have to be on the forefront, you have to be the chief story teller
For teens of divorced parents, in your opinion, what can the parents/step-parents do to make the most of the situation?
If they really care about the child then they need to put their differences aside and set times to do joint activities.
Think about Christmas and the constant shoveling around that a child with 4 or six sets of grand parents have to do…it is crazy there is no consistency…
A lot of parents need to swallow their pride and sacrifice for the best life for their kid…
Divorce can be cyclical in many families and I don’t think any parent wants that for their child so they need to give them the best chance to break that cycle
How can we get our teen to clean their room?
Tell them what you want, what are the consequences if they do…be consistent…The closer the family is the easier it will be to enforce the rule
What do teens want most from their parents?
Love. Your teen needs to come back to you and that is built on a foundation of love.
A good story…something they can be proud of and take on themselves…
A few weeks ago I was pushing Emma on a swing in the park and I was casually eavesdropping on a few junior high girls on the swings next to us. This is how their conversation went.
Girl 1: “Oh my gosh you are such an amazing singer”
Girl 2: “Really? I was thinking I might try to get on American Idol.”
Girl 1: “You should totally do that and if that doesn’t work out you could always get on The Voice.”
Girl 2: “You could totally do that”
My first thought, I’d love to meet these girls’ parents. Admittedly, I was listening to this conversation in awe of the innocence of childhood, in remembrance of some dreams that I have left behind. However, I love that these girls have the freedom to dream. What they were saying is so ridiculous to a world of adults with nine to five jobs raising kids who are barley getting by. They are clearly shooting high.
I hope my girls have conversations like this. I hope they plot their lives out, and then realize that’s not really what they want at all. I hope they dream huge and aspire to big things. Even when they get a job that might not be their thing, I hope they never let go of their passion, imagination and ambition.
I want to be the kind of parent who encourages ridiculous dreams. I want to be the kind of parent who invests in passions that only last a week. I want to be the kind of dad that teaches his kids to trust their imagination and to really know what they want so that they will one-day chase it down. I want to be the kind of dad that teaches his girls that persistence and optimism is key to fulfilling your dreams no matter how crazy they might be.
Ever since I’ve had kids my new dream has been for them to be great. I feel like I finally have a glimpse of how God loves his children. I’ve always understood forgiveness but what I don’t think I ever understood before is the deep desire for good things for others. I just want my kids to leave a mark and change this world. I guess that makes Desiree and I, dream facilitators.
Get out your party hats, we have hit a milestone. This is blog post number 100 and I am really excited with how this blog has been progressing. It has led to so many fun interactions and conversations with readers. Thank you all for reading and swinging by!
Have you ever noticed that people have their online persona and their real life? You can pretty well control your image online; people who don’t know you might think your great based on your profile picture. Shaping what someone thinks of you is really easy to do. I’ve decided that I want to be careful about painting an idealistic picture of myself online because it would simply be false. So in the spirit of full disclosure and not wanting to mislead anyone based on my online persona, I present to you the behind the scenes video of the birth of Lucy…In all of its disfunction
In light of this post being my 100th post, I wanted to take a second and thank these three guys who have helped me get this blog off the ground and running smoothly. They have really been awesome.
Richard Adams: Back end web support and design +Lucy Videos
